Most of us stop ourselves from taking the next step, taking a chance, because we never even start. We impose unreasonable expectations upon ourselves, freezing us into inaction. I've been guilty of this so many times. I worry what people will think, I worry that I'll look stupid, I worry that I'll fail!
I. Am. Done. That's what I decided the beginning of this year. Not just a New Year's resolution, but a true action plan; being intentional in what I am doing and why. Not just setting goals, but training myself to just start and follow through. Not just doing what's in vogue, but finding what brings me joy. I am in the process of this, and here's how I got myself into gear in order to just start going!
1. I got over myself. Worrying about how I'm perceived by others is something that has haunted me for as long as I can remember. Sure I'm successful by general standards, but I would continually compare myself to others, thinking that I wasn't good enough. I finally feel released from this because I realized that no one else really cares about my insecurities and how I look to others, but me!
2. I had no expectations. In order to motivate myself, I would need something to achieve. Finishing high school, graduating from college, completing graduate school...check, check, check. I'm so goal-oriented that I always needed a race to complete in order to stay on my running schedule each week. With my right hip creaking, cracking, and painful at night, after a half-marathon in Napa Valley two years ago, I stopped running. In January, I decided to start walking during my fifteen minute morning and afternoon breaks at work...that's it!
3. I became self-centered. Being a wife, mother of three with a chocolate lab, and having a career on top of it, I am constantly on the go. When I didn't do for others, I would feel guilty. When I felt guilty, I would feel sad. When I did do for others, I would feel frustrated. When I felt frustrated, I got angry. Enough! I got help, stabilized myself, and looked inward. By becoming more centered, I am finding what I love to do, therefore finding my joy. This "self-centeredness" has allowed me to become more selfless since my "self" is fulfilled and I have the ability to be more mindful of others!
4. I stopped the seriousness. I am the first to be self-depreciating, beating everyone to the punch. But that is counterproductive because when you do that, you're basically saying that, "I'm dumb, I'm not good enough...but look, I can make fun of myself, so I'm okay with it..." Yeah...no. I was taking myself way too seriously that I would ruminate over my "mistake" over & over again. I started yoga in March, and despite hating it years ago because I didn't know all the poses, I just love it now! An article from MindBodyGreen, which I'm addicted to states, "I know that yoga is a lifelong practice and what matters most is the peaceful attitude of acceptance, forgiveness and joy. Yoga has taught me how to laugh at myself, especially in moments of epic failure. After all, it's only yoga."
And that's it! My first not-so-perfect blog post on this perfectly beautiful day! I hope this helped you think about how you handle challenges and consider ways to improve on not being so perfect. Join me on a 30-Day Joylife Training Journey here. Tell me your thoughts and as always, find what gives you joy in your life.
<3 Cheryl Joy
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